Candy Happy Candy from Dollarama
Candy Happy Candies Review
You can't find happiness in a bottle. And even if you could, it definitely wouldn't be coming out of THIS bottle. The tiny, green plastic flask of Candy Happy candies I picked up at the local Dollarama explicitly states that they are NOT for anyone ages 0-3, but I doubt they would be any better for anyone over the age of 3 anyway.
Candy Happy candies (the redundancy is the bottle's – not mine!) must be in demand only because of its social currency – the rainbow array of tiny fruits comes in a Pee-Wee Herman miniature plastic bottle, which I imagine is the prepubescent equivalent of teens sneaking cheap beer to chug by the lake. The candy even comes with a fake bottle cap that must be opened with a (hopelessly flimsy) attached plastic bottle opener. So if one night you want to crack open a cold one and not have your kids feel left out, just bring out the Candy Happy Candies and they can also experience all the clumsiness of attempting to uncap a bottle!
The candies themselves are shaped like different fruits. You have an entire orchard in the bottle, if that orchard happened to be the grocery store: Bananas, Strawberries, Oranges, etc,. One of the candies in the plastic bottle is shaped like a heart, which is not a food item I've ever seen in the fresh produce section, but it's probably the best tasting of all the shapes. The effect is entirely psychological, since each of the candies taste exactly the same – gross. The sugar is so tightly concentrated it's like eating a vitamin, only this vitamin doesn't improve your health, it actively promotes type 2 diabetes with a passion.
The bottle discloses that the candies contain tartrazine, a synthetic dye used in food colouring, usually for the colour yellow. I guess they needed the tartrazine for the bananas. So bad luck for everyone allergic to tartrazine, looks like you'll have to save your money and pass on this inferior product.
I would definitely not recommend Candy Happy candies from Dollarama. I downed a whole bottle of these crayola fruit nuggets, and I definitely am not feeling any better about myself afterwards. I honestly think you would be better off feeding your child actual beer instead of this synthetic garbage. At least that'll give them some real social cred.
Apologies for the lack of photographic evidence - the product dissolved into thin air at camera flash.
I could (un)fortunately not locate a link to Candy Happy Candies online, but this catnip filled banana is probably a way better investment anyway. Start building your own orchard.